The Mental Health Effects of Masking How You Feel
Breaking the Stigma Around Struggling in Silence
Mental Health Week, led by the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), is a time to raise awareness, challenge stigma, and encourage open conversations about mental health. One of the most pervasive yet often overlooked issues is masking—the act of hiding our true emotional struggles behind a façade of being "fine." Many people feel pressured to apologize for their mental health challenges or conceal them entirely, fearing judgment or misunderstanding. But mental health struggles are not something to be ashamed of, and no one should have to pretend they’re okay when they’re not.
In this post, we’ll explore what masking is, how it impacts mental health, and when it might be time to seek help. By shedding light on this issue, we hope to create a space where people feel empowered to be honest about their struggles without fear of stigma.
Let’s break it down—no judgement, just real talk.
What is Masking?
Masking is the practice of concealing one’s true emotions, struggles, or mental health symptoms in order to appear "normal" or avoid burdening others. It often involves forcing a smile, downplaying distress, or pretending everything is fine when internally, a person may be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed.
People mask for many reasons—fear of judgment, pressure to meet societal expectations, or even internalized shame about their struggles. Some may worry that admitting they’re not okay will make them seem weak or unreliable. Others might mask because they’ve been conditioned to believe their feelings are an inconvenience.
While masking can sometimes serve as a short-term coping mechanism, over time, it becomes exhausting and isolating. It creates a disconnect between how a person feels and how they present themselves, which can worsen mental health in the long run.
Here are some examples to consider:
1. Masking in a Relationship
Example: Jamie has been feeling disconnected and emotionally drained lately, but every time their partner asks how they’re doing, they respond with, “I’m fine, just tired.” Inside, Jamie is struggling with self-doubt and loneliness, but they don’t want to burden their partner, who’s also dealing with work stress. They force smiles during conversations, pretend to be engaged, and even avoid talking about their own needs to keep the peace. Over time, Jamie starts feeling more isolated, like their partner doesn’t really know them anymore.
Why it happens: Fear of being "too much," not wanting to start a conflict, or assuming their struggles aren’t important enough to share.
2. Masking with Friends
Example: Alex’s friends invite them out for a group dinner, but Alex has been feeling anxious and low for weeks. Instead of canceling or being honest, they go along, laughing at jokes they don’t find funny and nodding through conversations while their mind races with worries. When someone asks, “How have you been?” Alex automatically says, “Great! Just busy,” even though they’ve been barely keeping up with daily tasks. Later, they leave early, feeling even more drained and guilty for not being “present.”
Why it happens: Fear of being seen as a downer, not wanting to kill the mood, or worrying that friends won’t understand.
3. Masking at Work
Example: Taylor is overwhelmed with deadlines and imposter syndrome, but in meetings, they confidently say, “No problem, I’ve got this!” They push through exhaustion, respond to emails with cheerful tones, and even volunteer for extra tasks to prove they’re capable. Meanwhile, they’re skipping lunch breaks to cope, lying awake at night with stress, and dismissing their own burnout as “just a busy phase.” When a coworker mentions burnout, Taylor jokes, “Who has time for that?”—while silently wondering how much longer they can keep this up.
Why it happens: Pressure to appear competent, fear of being seen as weak or unreliable, or workplace cultures that reward overworking.
In each scenario, the person diminishes their own struggles to meet perceived expectations, whether to protect others, avoid judgment, or maintain an image. But masking often backfires, leading to deeper exhaustion, loneliness, and even worsening mental health.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward unmasking—because true connection and support can only happen when we let others see the real us.
How Can Masking Impact Mental Health?
The longer someone masks their struggles, the heavier the toll on their mental well-being. Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear; instead, they often manifest in other ways, such as increased anxiety, depression, or even physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or digestive issues.
One of the most damaging effects of masking is the sense of loneliness it creates. When people hide their struggles, they miss out on the support and understanding that comes from being open with trusted friends, family, or professionals. Over time, this can lead to feelings of alienation, as if no one truly knows or understands them.
Additionally, masking reinforces the harmful belief that mental health struggles should be hidden. This perpetuates stigma, making it harder for others to speak up about their own challenges. The more we normalize pretending to be okay, the harder it becomes for anyone to admit when they’re not.
When to Seek Help
Recognizing when masking has become harmful is an important step in taking care of your mental health. Here are some signs that it may be time to reach out for support:
You feel constantly exhausted from pretending to be okay when you’re not.
Your emotions feel overwhelming, and you’re struggling to manage them alone.
You’ve withdrawn from people or activities you once enjoyed because maintaining the façade feels like too much effort.
Physical symptoms (such as sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, or chronic pain) are affecting your daily life.
You feel like no one truly knows you because you’ve hidden so much of your struggles.
Seeking help doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re taking steps to care for yourself. Whether it’s talking to a friend, reaching out to a therapist, or accessing resources from organizations like CMHA, support is available.
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
Mental health struggles are a part of life, and no one should feel they have to hide or apologize for them. Masking might feel like a way to protect ourselves, but in reality, it often deepens our pain. By being open about our challenges, we not only lighten our own load but also help break the stigma that keeps others silent.
This Mental Health Week, let’s commit to unmasking—to showing up as we truly are, without shame. If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that help is available, and reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. Together, we can create a world where no one feels they have to suffer in silence.
Resources About and For Masking
CHMA Mental Health Week
For more resources on mental health and masking, visit the Canadian Mental Health Association. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Fact Sheet: Effects of Masking
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And sometimes, love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
